One Year Ago Today

One year ago today my husband, daughter, son and I were packed up in our Saturn Vue heading to Northern VT to have our finger prints taken for our I-600 application. On the trip our biggest concern at the time was getting our dossier into China soon! We wanted to be matched before my DH's birthday in June 2007 as he would cross one of the age "brackets" . We knew the wait time had seen some increase but we were hopeful that our dossier could be to China before the end of May which would give us over a year until Match Day.

Oh well.... now looking back that seems like a very minor worry. The wait has increased to at least 18 months and we are now holding hope for a referral in 24 months from our LID of 5/22/06. So the worry of crossing that age "bracket" is long over as it is a reality now. Our agency has told us that they have had several other couples in the exact same circumstances and they feel confident we will be okay.

A year ago seems so far away in one sense and then just yesterday. I can hardly believe we are not quite 1/2 way through our wait, as it seems to drag by so slowly. But then I look at my DS and realize that we carried him in to the BSCIS office (immigration office) in the little detachable car carrier/seat. He is running, jumping, climbing and talking now! I can't believe he has grown and developed so much in one year. And I find it hard to imagine what he will be like in another year when we can show him his new Mei-Mei.

I also think about the how quickly we were able to put together our dossier this time. It was an amazing 2 months! Very very quick!! Last time for the adoption of our DD it took us 6 months to just find the right agencies and then 4 months to do all the dossier paperwork. The experience that I learned the first time through was invaluable. I can't imagine having spent 10 months this time finding our way to then have a 2 year wait for Match Day. This time the trip to BSCIS was not filled with the fear of our fingerprints failing or the paper work going missing. I didn't hold onto my 20 lbs of paper work like might be snatched by a thief. I had much more confidence in the process and my knowledge of what to expect.

So this morning passes and the worries of last year are different than this year. Now I worry about surviving the wait and how it will effect my time spent with my two children. One half of my heart longs for the next year to go by in a blink of an eye, so we can bring Rorrie home and complete our family. That part of my heart feels an emptiness and desire to hold her, to introduce her to her two sibling, grandparents, aunts, uncles & cousins. Those thoughts of having our family complete, together, safe and happy bring a warmness that wraps my soul. But the other 1/2 of my heart doesn't want a moment of the next year to spin by quickly. I want to catch every moment of my two children growing and changing. I want to finish all the improvement to our home that are underway to have room for three children. I want to spend the summer teaching my DD & DS to swim in my parent's pool. I want to see them run in the back yard playing tag & hide/seek.

So today will be a day of good moments and trying moments.